Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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