Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
