Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
