New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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