you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
