Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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