I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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