I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
