I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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