Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
