This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
