I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
