Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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