Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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