we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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