you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He felt like a one man threesome
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
