I can't watch pbs sober anymore
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
