terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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