Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
