i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i think my cat just said my name.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
