I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
pray to the hookup gods
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
