if you like me you must not know who I am
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
