Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
