I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
