Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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