I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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