I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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