I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize