so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
