Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
