Hey man sorry I got all grabby
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
