So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize