Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
