You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
