Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize