apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
