She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize