weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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