We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
