Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
