ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
