I'm passing your future prison.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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