So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Randomize
