So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She needs sedatives and a leash
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
