So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
