Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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