He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
