May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
