And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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