He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
