Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
