Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
