We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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