i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize