we have officially lost it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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