Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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