oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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