What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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