I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
