Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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