I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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