ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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