My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I look better un-naked...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
