i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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