She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize